50 Rules For Sherlock To Follow
by The Ivy Among Roses
Summary: What it says. Review please:D One shot.


Sherlock is never, _ever_ allowed to go to the movies alone. He went to see the Avengers and got kicked out once they said the word Tesseract .

Sherlock is not allowed to see Star Trek. Just, no…

Sherlock is not allowed to share a cab with Anderson. We all remember what happened last time don't we?

If someone happens to say something like paradox, or impossibility around Sherlock at a crime scene, just walk away and act like you didn't say anything. He'll get into a big lecture about the probability and call you a lot of foul things.

If one should find themselves out in public and happens to see Sherlock getting arrested by someone who doesn't know him, just, do the smart thing and call Mycroft. They obviously need to get acquainted with the job of Consulting Detective.

Sherlock is not allowed to eat Poptarts in the bathroom anymore.

Sherlock is also not allowed to buy anymore Poptarts, because the sugar gives him headaches and the headaches make him cranky and when he gets cranky Mycroft has to pay for even more therapy.

Tell Lestrade to stop wearing a scarf, because Sherlock thinks he stole the look from him and gets pouty.

Sherlock is not allowed to pout about Lestrade's scarf wearing. We all know, you did it first Sherlock.

Sherlock is not permitted to fill bullet shells with rose thorns and shoot them at pigs.

Sherlock is not allowed to weld the windows shut, because it stops the smoke from clearing.

Sherlock is not allowed to lick murder victims.

Sherlock is also not allowed to pull off said murder victims toes and say "Get Anderson I found his heart." It's only funny the first time.

Sherlock is not allowed to watch the Grinch because he just goes on and on about how "Someone's heart cannot be two sizes too small John, I mean really the circulatory system would explode from over working itself!"

Sherlock is not allowed to Christmas shop alone. Mycroft does not need a breast pump. Believe us. We know.

Sherlock is not allowed to harass Donovan about her relationship with Anderson, we all know he's seeing her on the side; you don't need to tell us exactly what they are doing. Really. That's why everyone at the Yard reads 50 Shades of Grey; we don't need your input!

Sherlock may not listen to the song Yellow Submarine and dance around in his underwear. Please…

Sherlock is not allowed to listen to Glee songs anymore.

Sherlock cannot bug Molly about what happened in Glee season 1.

Sherlock cannot bug Molly about what happened in Glee season 4. There isn't one yet Sherlock.

Sherlock is prohibited quote Santana Lopez from Glee.

Sherlock is no longer allowed to play in the morgue at all hours of the night, several people thought he was a deranged Banshee because he was yelling at the DNA results at 6 A.M

Sherlock may not wear the red dressing gown by itself.

Sherlock may not wear the blue dressing gown by itself.

Sherlock may not harass John about looking like that Freeman guy.

Sherlock may not dye his hair red.

Sherlock may not dye his hair any other color.

Sherlock may not tell Mycroft to dye his hair.

Sherlock may not have any more fights with Mycroft that end in "YOU TOOK EVERY LAST ONE OF MY SMURFS!"

Sherlock is not allowed to read Harry Potter 7. He will cry.

Sherlock is not allowed to draw elaborate pictures of Dobby's death on the walls in pigs blood. Mrs. Hudson will kill him.

Sherlock is not allowed to rub John's razors in poison sumac leaves.

Please will no one allow Sherlock to use headphones, they hurt his ears but he keeps deleting the fact that they cause him pain.

Sherlock just stop falling asleep in Hyde Park. You got mugged for god's sake.

Will people please tell Sherlock that just because knows what we did last night does not mean he is allowed to tell everyone.

Sherlock, do not fill the shampoo bottles with blood. We mean it this time.

Sherlock recently discovered Taylor Swift, but please remind him that Safe and Sound was not written for Harry Potter. It is for the Hunger Games. Just deal with it.

Will someone, anyone, please tell Sherlock that every time he gets a headache he does not have to say "Voldemort is near…"

Sherlock stop eating crackers in the attic.

Sherlock stop eating in the attic, or drinking.

Sherlock, just STOP GOING IN THE ATTIC.

John we all decide it is your responsibility to tell Sherlock that he is not allowed bringing his stuffed animal Wilberforce the Crocodile to the Yard anymore. Donovan admitted to having it put on a T-Shirt.

Sherlock needs to stop watching John sleep. We all know you stole that from Edward Cullen.

Sherlock is never, under any circumstances allowed to quote the Lonely Island song "I'm On A Boat."

Sherlock needs to stop looking himself up online.

Sherlock needs to change the ringtone for Irene Adler.

Sherlock needs to change the ringtone for Jim Moriarty back to the ping-ing and eliminate the song Staying Alive.

Lestrade it is your turn to try and educate Sherlock on the solar system. He will learn.

Someone tell Sherlock sleeping helps the mind heal. It's been 1 week, he is going to crash sometime.

Sherlock is not allowed to watch Grey's Anatomy. He gets ideas for experiments…


End file.
